For millions of Americans, the role of caregiver extends in both directions: raising children while supporting aging parents. Often in their 40s or 50s, these individuals are part of the "sandwich generation." The balancing act is intense--demanding time, money and emotional energy. However, legal and estate planning is often overlooked—until a crisis forces action.
By planning, sandwich generation caregivers can avoid preventable stress, secure their family’s financial stability and ensure that everyone’s needs—from aging parents to growing children—are addressed with care and clarity.
Caring for two generations brings conflicting priorities. One moment may involve attending a child’s school event: the next, driving a parent to a doctor’s appointment, or reviewing their insurance paperwork.
This dual role often affects careers, personal relationships and finances. According to national data, nearly 30 percent of sandwich caregivers financially support children and aging relatives. Even simple decisions—like accessing a parent’s health records or managing their bills—can become frustrating or even impossible when necessary legal documents aren't in place.
That’s why developing a legal plan supporting caregiving across both age groups is essential.
If you’re caring for aging parents, confirm whether they have up-to-date legal documents. Essential items include:
These documents authorize you (or another trusted individual) to make decisions if your parent cannot do so. Without them, you may have to go through court proceedings to gain legal authority, adding time, cost and stress to an already difficult situation.
Encourage open conversations with your parents. What are their wishes for medical care? Do they have long-term care insurance? Do they want to stay in their home if their health declines? Discussing these questions now gives them control over their choices and gives you the confidence to carry them out.
At the same time, parents must consider who would care for their children if something happened to them. This includes naming a guardian in a will, setting up trusts to manage inherited money and purchasing life insurance for financial support.
Trusts are especially useful for families with minor children, since they allow assets to be managed by a trusted adult until the child reaches a specified age. Without these plans, courts may decide who takes custody and how money is distributed. These are outcomes that might not reflect your wishes. It’s also important to update these documents as children grow or family dynamics change.
The pressure of caregiving can lead to burnout. Many sandwich generation caregivers put their own financial and health needs last. However, creating your own estate plan is just as important.
Establishing a will, financial power of attorney and a healthcare power of attorney with a qualified estate planning lawyer ensures that your family won’t have to guess about your wishes in a crisis. It also reduces the risk of family conflict and ensures that your loved ones are protected, no matter what happens.
Even small steps, like making a list of essential contacts and storing documents safely, can make a significant difference in an emergency. Contact our estate planning team in Berks County, Pennsylvania, to ensure that you and your family are cared for no matter what happens.
References: National Alliance for Caregiving (November 2019) "BURNING THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS: SANDWICH GENERATION CAREGIVING IN THE U.S." and Union Bank & Trust (July 27, 2022) "Journey looks at estate planning for the sandwich generation"
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